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Written by Erica F.
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Saturday, 24 October 2009 06:56 |
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Life changes in a hurry. Less than three months ago I was enjoying the glow of my sister’s total acceptance of me and today I am mourning her passing. Such a soul. Such a soul mate. I will never let her memory fade from my heart. Her beautiful smile, her beautiful heart and the incredible love she spread around her. I was so hoping that she could have been here to celebrate the first ever Transparent day. We even talked about her being there for me in February. My sister was one of a kind. She went to every play I was in and was always there when I needed her. I wish I could say the same. As is so often the case, we get wrapped up in our own lives and don’t see the time ticking away as we race towards our inevitable demise. We waste time on things that seem so important but at times like this melt away and leave a void as we see all of the times she was there for us. Her spirit and her heart were brighter and stronger than any I have known, and I count myself as one of the lucky ones to have had her in my life for as long as I did. In the past eight months, since I came out to her, she was so amazingly accepting. She was so happy that my true self was finally shining and she gave me nothing but love and happiness. She is one of those rare people who understand and can be truly happy for us. She gave me a bracelet of our mothers and told me that I should wear it since I was now her sister. When it didn’t fit we decided to give it to Cara, my daughter, when she got engaged. The last time I spoke with her before her illness was the day I went to visit my sweet Rhonda. When her nurse came in she introduced me as her sister Erica. I beamed and she smiled and knew she had truly touched my heart and was acknowledging our bond as siblings, as sisters. The day I got back she had gone into the hospital and we never spoke again. On my visits we would communicate, I was so happy to finally be there for her. I was fortunate enough to have my dear Rhonda meet her which was so special and the two of them connected immediately. Rhonda had decided to layover in Minneapolis with me after SCC and at her insistence we went to visit Mollie. I think she knew she would bond with Mollie. She asked if I had given Cara the bracelet and I told her I was waiting for her and she smiled. We finally did two weeks before she left us and Cara is wearing it with pride and love. On the morning that I left for Europe, we talked and I hugged her 3 times. I am not sure why, but it was so hard to leave her. I think she knew she would never see me again. She was tearing up as I left her. I could have spent 10 more minutes with her but as I said, time gets away when we least realize it. I had an appointment that I ended up being early for. What I wouldn’t give for those 10 minutes. To tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. Sweet dreams my precious sister; I am so happy that you are at peace and in a much better place. |
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Last Updated ( Saturday, 24 October 2009 06:58 )
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Written by Erica F.
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Wednesday, 14 October 2009 12:54 |
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Here I am, once again, 36000 feet in the air this time on my way to Europe. I am meeting my daughter in Denmark. We are attending an annual grain conference in Copenhagen. She is my hero.
She hopped on a plane to Amsterdam last week on her way to spend a week in an office in the small town of Aarhus, where we do business. She had never been out of North America and only to Canada once. I got a gate pass to see her off and she was so excited to go yet nervous as could be. “What do I do when I land? I don’t speak Dutch. Will I find someone who speaks English?”
Erica and Cara in Copenhagen
When I asked her to take this trip it hadn’t occurred to me that this was her first time, and it brought back memories of my first trip to Europe, too many years ago to admit. When you travel as much as I do It becomes second nature and I was embarrassed to have been so cavalier in preparing her. She had never experienced this before and although she was ready, it is all new to her.
That is what I love about her, she doesn’t flinch at a challenge and a new and exciting experience. She has been working with me for a year now and has faced some incredible challenges as she spent 6 months in another state training, and developed relationships with our customers and partners. A year ago she could not have imagined where her life was going to go when she said she would leave her one year old career to join me and help keep the business alive as I transitioned. Her journey this last year has been as challenging and scary as mine. Thankfully she has continued to enjoy it and is so incredibly immersed in the business. Somewhat similar to the journey her transparent is on.
Exciting, frightening, yet the focus to go on is so calming and compelling. The parallel is such a clear one, and is a great lesson for me. As I become more and more comfortable as a woman and grow in my life, so does she as she gains experience and confidence. This trip together is a grand way to count down the days to TransParent Day. After a 3 day conference I will be taking her to Italy for a week.
Her name, Cara is Italian for dear. Cara mia. I was so in love with Italy after my year of studies there I had to name her with one of the most endearing words I learned, and I vowed to someday take her there. Well this is the chance, and after all that she has done for me this past year I can’t think of a better way to begin the celebration of this new day with this week of travel to Firenze and Venezia. |
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Last Updated ( Wednesday, 21 October 2009 01:51 )
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Written by Erica F.
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Tuesday, 07 July 2009 00:00 |
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Two days before Fathers Day this year, my daughter said maybe we should do something different now. Maybe it was time to figure out a special day. She said, I think it would be fun to come up with a day for us to celebrate your parenthood that reflects who you are now and the special place you have in your kid’s lives. What a brilliant idea. Why not create a day that celebrates our roles as parents and is a positive and loving tribute to the family? When we told my son about the idea, he was excited. The idea is to have a family day oriented towards our roles simply as a parents rather than a gender specific one. It seemed to click.
So from a fun little conversation I had with my daughter came this idea of creating a day for us to celebrate how lucky we are to be TG, and how special it really is.
I told my friend Sharon about the idea and she thought it was really cool too. In fact she said we should bring it out to everyone. She even created a website devoted to the day. We are going to populate the site with thoughts and ideas on how to celebrate being a Trans parent from everyone who cares to add their thoughts. .
So here it is. We are going to celebrate TransParent Day on the first Sunday in November. It will be a day of celebration for all parents and kids that can focus on the family and it’s importance. It will help reinforce the fact that we as Trangendered parents continue to have that bond and that love that all parents share with their children.
Erica F.
July 7, 2009
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Last Updated ( Monday, 21 September 2009 12:37 )
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